Useful ideas for the ITV Leeds studios

I'm not sure what's on ITV 1 on a Saturday afternoon because it's been years since I bothered turning over from the tremendous sporting output on Sky.
But it does strike me that the cash-strapped ITV could be missing a trick by not re-introducing some cheap retro sports programming at that time.
Particularly dull and turgid sports that will appeal to Northern folk who seem likely to make up the bulk of the millions of unemployed people in recession-hit Britain with no money to go out and do some shopping or attend expensive Premiership football matches like everyone else.
Speedway, darts, competitive fast-food eating, Olympic gurning and clog-racing down the aisles of Pound shops are just some of the ideas that spring to mind.
Yorkshire would be the natural place for the studios from which to broadcast these celebrations of begrudgery and grimness - Yorkshire people, after all, are like the Scots but with all the goodwill squeezed out of them.
You know they're from Yorkshire because they always tell you within 20 seconds of meeting them.
Have you ever met anyone who says " I'm from Dorset " as a threat ?
So those soon-to-be derelict studios in Leeds seem to be the perfect choice.
I hope you're reading this Mr Grade.

Whereas you always know a Southerner because they never take the time to meet you in the first place, because they never tend to see you.

Their heads being that far up their rectum, of course.

Now is this the point where nobody rises to the bait? I hope so.

Byeeeee! x

Heh,heh,heh - I always catch a tiddler or two.

You're so witty. I wish I was you.

Presumably because your wife is too much of an old trout?

Come to Daddy.

I must admit - that's a great line, Showbiz.

After all, us lot up North are out of jobs because the coal mines have shut down due to the recession

Is it 1985?

well 25 years ago yesterday it was the start of the great miners stirke

Dang right there buddy.
The biggest working class own goal since ... own goals were invented.
Fellers with haircuts bad enough to match their teeth being prole-led by King Arthur.
Her Maggesty fixed 'em good and proper.

Yes, it's lucky for all of us that the south has so many upstanding and honourable people to show for it.

Have you actually SEEN London council estates? Or are you taking a leaf out of Dick Littlejohn's book and speaking to us from Florida?