Terry Wogan quits Eurovision

Perhaps if we entered a proper song it might work. I mean a song not written specifically for Eurovision - if we'd had something from Duffy or the Kaiser Chiefs, for example, we would have done far better. The thing's taken pretty cynically across Europe, and if we entered a properly good song , people across Europe might take notice and actually vote for it . Remember that Katrina and the Waves entered using a 'normal' pop song, and won. Since then, on the other hand, we've had no proper entries in Eurovision, so it's fallen back to bloc voting.

Or, if all else fails, do the exact opposite and send a 40 stone man in a thong singing "I'm Too Sexy".