BBC Oneness - idents and presentation

Sadly, I imagine they're here to stay for at least the rest of the year, as the BBC is keen to show us all the wonderful things that bring us together as a nation. Let me predict others in the series...

March - a group of Eurocrats stare blankly at the camera as they are handed a signed copy of Article 50.

April - a group of kids, their faces covered in melted chocolate, stare blankly at empty Easter egg boxes. One of them throws up.

May - a group of families sit in their cars eating egg sandwiches and staring blankly out to sea whilst the windscreen wipers go full pelt as they celebrate the traditional May Day trip to the seaside.

June - a group of people on Henman Hill, staring blankly.

July - a group of people at a crowded airport stare blankly waiting for the baggage handlers to call off their strike so they can go on their holidays.

August - same group of people (this time sunburnt and in shorts & sombreros) stare blankly at suitcases on the baggage reclaim as they arrive back home.

September - a group of mothers stare blankly as they hand battered sausages, chips and burgers to their kids through the school fence.

October - a group of sinister gay clowns (several minority boxes ticked here) stare blankly out from behind some bushes.

November - a family group comes together to watch a backyard firework display, staring blankly as the catherine wheel nailed to the fence fails to go round.

December - Charlotte Moore and a group of her colleagues from BBC Creative stare blankly at their P45's out the front of Broadcasting House whilst snow falls.

What the BBC deserve for shoving out this incredibly s***e set.

They've achieved 'oneness' in the most ironic way possible.

And everyone will get a day of work, and do something more interesting while BBC One play out propaganda about the 'Dear Leader'

2018 - Martin Parr gives his retrospective on Oneness, stating that 'it was a nightmare to go through'.

Moore and the cronies from BBC Creative, off camera, are lead to Room 101, where they are subjected to far more appealing pieces of presentation, including the 90s idents, the balloon and the circles.

Definitely best post of the thread so far!

You won't be laughing when this is exactly what they use

I concur that Oneness has unintentionally taken on an new, very ironic meaning. The new set of idents are universally hated, and rightly so.

The only thing I will say, though (and it's the reason I very purposely chose Central London's New Broadcasting House as the location for my piece of satire, as opposed to any other location) is that Network, to a large degree, oversees what the Nations and Regions are permitted to do, pres wise. That's why I will never knowingly state or imply that this current mess is anything to do with the Nations and Regions. They have to take them, whether they want to or not. My anger is directed, largely, at BBC Network.

Asa, turn off the swear filter so we can all unload please

Yes - I doubt the nations and regions are to blame. BBC NI has produced a better effort in pres compared to Network.

Network isn't just to blame - BBC Creative and the higher ups at the BBC (specifically Charlotte Moore) also should be chastised for this.

Also finding the diversity mention by Moore to be ironic:

"What better way to demonstrate this than by commissioning Martin Parr, one of the most celebrated documentary photographers of our time, to create idents from a series of portraits that reflect and represent the rich diversity of communities living in the UK today?"

Rich diversity? The swimmers ident looks like only people over 40 and no other ethnicities featuring. Irony.

Good lord - they're persistent with putting manboobs and cellulite arses straight to the news.

I have an exclusive leaked script as to how the Ident pitch came about:

BBC Interviewer: What does BBC One mean to you?

Creative guy: Well um... it's full of... BBC Oneness?

BBC Interviewer: Excellent. You've got the job.

Four protestors (probably Red Bee representatives) who created professional looking banners are hardly going to cause a mass public outcry. Not one person, not one, has even mentioned BBC One's idents. I doubt they care that much.