Well while we're on the subject I might as well post these ideas I made a while back.
- Order a new title sequence, with updated shots of the street. They take a slightly more dramatic angle but the music remains utterly unchanged. Ensure closing credits are included – tell ITV to put up or shut up about them; Corrie’s their best asset it can be excluded from a senseless generic identity.
- Order a total clearout of the cast, to phase out over 12 months. Those on the axe list are the entire Peacock family (Ashley, Claire, Josh and Freddie) – they move away for a fresh start; the Battersbys (Cilla, Les, Chesney) – Les dies suddenly in an accident and Cilla decides to move away with Chesney to give her son the life he deserves. Yana also leaves; Dev Alahan – is bled dry by a woman who claims she loves him, and is left with nothing. At the lowest of the low, he is saved by another woman and is offered a job in America, which he jumps at. Amber goes back to live with her Mum; a fire in the Rovers kills the following characters – Vernon, Lloyd, Adam, Kelly, Sean and Paul Connor. The fire is a massive storyline that leaves the residents reeling. Obviously the Rovers fire will call for a revamp, but it wouldn’t be modernised as such, just redecorated to seem fresher. That’s a total of 12 characters gone. None are drafted in to replace them.
- Clear out the deadwood writers (I mean people like Peter Whalley, Chris Fewtrell, Julie Jones etc who are bland at best) and search for new talent. Brief scriptwriters and ask for more character-led episodes and faster-paced storylines with more twists. As a general rule of thumb, storylines should last no more than 6 months before reaching a conclusion or a massive turning point. Dabble with joint-written episodes by two writers and see what the quality is like.
- Insist directors are more creative with episodes with better camera work to help with the atmosphere of the episode. For example in the Mad Maya episodes after a dramatic sequence a scene began in pitch black with Liz McDonald lighting the air with her lighter, a good link. More location shots are ordered – such as the scenes on the Moors etc. Also insist on not shying away from techniques such as the Queen song over the end of the Christmas episode, but not to an excessive level (i.e. rarely, but not NEVER like now). Better build-ups to scenes and transitions are also required (by transitions I mean not just cutting from dialogue straight to more dialogue, maybe dialogue to scene of busy pub to dialogue). Creativity and diversity is encouraged – more ‘special’ episodes and two-handers/four-handers. Improve the ending of episodes - every storyline being played out should come to some sort of ‘ending’ however small in the final scenes. Consider changing which part of the theme tune comes in over the end, at the moment it fades in at a very dull moment when there are other parts in the piece that would be better.
- The scripting teams are ordered to ensure every character has something – however small – going on in their life at one time. Characters who have been in the dark for a long time and criminally underused – Violet and Eileen for two – are given bigger storylines. Care is taken not to overdo characters and to maintain balance (i.e. not one storyline dominating the show for months a la Tracy / Charlie). Character development is key to the storylines and we learn about each one in each storyline every episode. Several storylines simmer in the background for a while before getting their 'one week of fame' or whatever where they take centre stage. This should be done using overlapping so it doesn't seem like "well, that storyline's over, now let's focus on a brand new out of the blue one."
And that's quite enough of my rambling.
