Comic Relief 2013 - Mildly Amusing at Times for Money

Last night I watched Comic Relief 2013 from 7pm to 11:10pm (the time at which coverage moved from BBC2 back to BBC1). This morning I saw the remaining 2 1/2 hours on DVD.

My verdict: dull, dull, dull. About as dull and boring as dull could be. Very few songs, they didn't even have a TOTP Comic Relief Special this time. So much for the 25th anniversary edition being the best ever!

Remember my criticism about RND 2009? At the time I mentioned several things that I felt should have been left out, and lots of other things that I felt should have beein included instead. I'm not going to repeat it all again here, but you must know / remember what I mean.

I hope that in 2015 they'll come up with a better programme of entertainment; something much more amusing than the dross we had last night.

It's always a bit hit and miss, just like most conventional sketch shows. There were quite a few stand out moments, the David Wallliams sketch just after the news was very good I thought and I quite liked Peter Kay's bit even though I usually can't stand him. The choice of hosts was good, as was the idea of changing them and the appeal theme each hour.

What is the obsession with having music in it? it's a comedy telethon! That said what music there was was very well done, the live performances accompanying the appeals footage was very moving.


Yeah because with all the BBC has gone through over the last 6 months, Boogie Beebies would be very tasteful on a light entertainment show!

It's perhaps worth pointing out that correcting for inflation, that's quite a substantial drop on the 2011 figure. Also, this year's £75m includes £16m from Government via DfID, compared with £10m included in the 2011 figure, so the amount donated by the public even without correcting for inflation has decreased by several million pounds.

Given the economic climate, the amount raised clearly represents a massive achievement; yet there's certainly an argument for reviewing their approach.

They also never reveal how much is donated as a direct result of the TV telethon. The vast majority probably comes in from schools and workplaces, so saying the show is good because it raised 75m isn't entirely correct.


Anyway, I like the way they used Lenny Henry last night, being a 3rd presenter poping up occasionally so he is still associated with the show. This could be the way Terry Wogan is used on CiN when he decides to step aside.

I also found it a bit odd that they featured a sketch using the word "shag" at 7:30pm. It's almost like they were deliberately asking for trouble for the sake of it. No reason why the sketch couldn't have aired later.

When I saw this and thought they'd got the sketches mixed up and this should have gone out later..?

They get loads of songs on CIN, which makes for a much more exciting show. The last few RNDs they've had a half-hour Top of the Pops Special on BBC2 whilst the late news has been on BBC1.

Of the ideas I suggested, I guessed you'd pick on Boogie Beebies. Don't you remember I suggested other ideas as well four years ago, e.g. magician, hypnotist, puppeteer etc. Basically the kind of Friday evening entertainment us members of the Roller Coaster Club of Great Britain have enjoyed at the Friday evening of the Blackpool Bash at Blackpool Pleasure Beach each April the last few years. For the record here's an outline of the Friday evening entertainment we had in 2011 and 2012.

You mean One Direction actually sang live for once?

You really think that sort of thing is worthy of airing any night on BBC1, never mind on one of their biggest entertainment nights of the year. And why can't you grasp the night is about comedy, not music. TOTP has only featured twice during Red Nose Day, once as Top Gear of the Pops and then the following RND where they just stuck any music performance in that half hour on BBC2, mainly I suspect to keep them off the main show. Nowadays both Comic Relief and Children in Need seem to run continuously throughout the night rather than putting a filler show out against the news.

Children in Need is about bubblegum pop acts coming on to plug their Christmas albums, while Comic Relief is a cut above that. They were very shrewd with their choices on Friday, selecting performances which were appropriate for the part of the show and actually there to act as a time for people to donate, not for the artists (and the few artists weren't exactly mainstream) to plug themselves. It's also got the respect of the music industry to so most big popstars who are involved with the night are there doing something different rather than thinking about their own sales.

And for what it's worth the night did feature the UK's biggest magician performing a fairly big stunt - and a puppeteer actually following Orvilles unfortunate encounter with David Walilams.

The fun really began when Andy Hine appeared and said his annual catchphrase. "Everybody say Blackpool", followed by Blackpool three more times.
Where's me washboard!?

As always, Andy performed some magic. A large cardboard box covered in pretty paper was already on stage. Andy invited a volunteer on to the stage to participate in the act, so I went on stage and got into the box. Alan Chilvers put the lid on and taped it closed, and Andy stuck a label on. The box was then wheeled behind the curtains.
That's a magic trick?


A surprise act, Ryan Hackett appeared briefly to do a mock Shake 'n' Vac advert. This was followed by him pushing a vacuum cleaner around the stage accompanied by the Queen song I Want To Break Free.
There's a couple of topical references for the kids, that'll bring the money in

Emerald did her pole dancing.
Ahh now that sounds more like it.... would have to be post-watershed though

Mid-way through Stuart appeared and danced around the stage. After that Emerald and Stuart mainly danced around the stage, although there were one or two further brief moments of Emerald on the pole. Emerald and Stuart reached the end without the horn'
Oh dear, but to be honest I don't think that sort of thing would give me the horn either

Seriously WTF?!? If any of that dross featured on Comic Relief (or CiN) everyone would turn over to something else!