Christmas TV Schedules

Well yes, it's nearly November, the clocks have gone back and it's all very depressing. But hey, Christmas has started earlier than ever this year !! Yippeee !! And right now as we speak, David Liddiment and Lorraine Hegegessey are probably agonising over the Christmas schedules.

Some important questions need to be answered :

Where will they schedule Noel's Christmas presents ?
Will ITV pretend Christmas isn't happening again ?
Do we have to have a Des O'Conner chat show at Christmas ?
Which old Bond film shall we dust off again ?

So traditionally, ITV don't tend to bother at Christmas, it's a time that most people tend to turn to the BBC, and advertising is at a low. (Apart from the copious DFS Boxing Day Sale ad's and Lunn Poly). So they will no doubt give us a Bond Film or Superman after Queens Speech, then a diet of hour long Emmerdale, Corrie & Millionaire. Oh and we might get the original Christmas turkey, Lisa Riley with a selection of Classic Christmas Camcorder Calamaties. It's just sooooo predictable.

Wonder what the big Christmas Day film will be this year. The Beeb normally have the biggest films over Christmas, was it Titanic last year or the year before ? We'll probably get 2 episodes of Eastenders, Aunties Christmas Bloomers, oh and maybe a Weakest Link celebrity special.

It will be a normal day of the week on Channel 5.

What a depressing thought, I wish I hadn't started this thread now.

So, thoughts please what will be / should be in the Christmas schedule this year ?

PS If anyone from ITV is looking in, why not give us a Monkey & Al Christmas Chat show, yeh that would be good !!

Noel's Christmas Presents was axed last year - shame really, some heartwarming stories on taht show.

ITV will give us the triple bill of Millionaire that we've had over the past few years (I'm not complaining - look at my nickname!) and probably some big bust up over the turkey and vegetables in Coronation Street.

BBC will roll out Angus Deayton or someone to do a special show or something.

Tom

ITV supposedly has some steamy plot for Coronation Street cooked up for Christmas - Perhaps thats the where the budget for the soap has been going in the last few months!!


Also the BBC is supposed to be showing some new, expensive, Only Fools & Horses specials somewhere in their Xmas schedule.


(Edited by tesandco at 11:14 am on Oct. 28, 2001)

The first chance to see Xmas schedules is usually in those pull outs that The Sun and The Mirror etc do suprisingly on the same day, at the end of November/Start of December.

These are usually full of 'TBA's' and don't look anything like the final schedules.
Such as 'You've been Framed at Christmas' which was listed on Boxing Day at 5.45 moves to Christmas Eve at 7.00 etc.

I don't know why they bother.

Plus the TV Listings Mags normally get ahead of themselves by releasing Week 49 a couple of days early, Week 50 a week early and Week 51/52 just before the Saturday of Week 49!

To avoid confusion, some shops refuse to put out the mags early which defeats the whole point!

Yeah, those newspaper supplements are so inaccurate they usually come out on the last thursday of november.
Fools and Horses is returning at Christmas and I heard somewhere that the BBC had acquuired the rights for some Disney movies like Toy Story and Pochontas(spelling?), so one of the big movies will probably be Disney film.
Also, in Eastenders, Little Mo supposedly stabs Trevor, but it is just a rumour at the moment.

oh..and obviously a Weakest Link special!

Was it axed because everyone is sick of the sight of Noel Edmonds?

Didn't Noels House Party get axed & he vouched never to work for the Beeb again?

Dum-dum DUUUMMMM!
SE - when did you turn into Graham Norton!?

I just hope this year BBC ONE doesn't spend all its budjet on a tripe movie like 'Titanic', leaving the rest of the evening filled with 'Walking with Dinosaurs' Victoria Wood's hour of pratting about and 'The Royle Family' inter-blazened with a News Summary at about 10pm!  Even 'They Think It's All Over' was shown on Xmas Eve last year rather than Xmas Day!!  Grr!
Ok: This is how BBC ONE Xmas Day evening schedule looks to me:

_____________________________________

5.30 Noel's Patronising Unhappy People Show
        More miserable gits are made famous for five minutes with a tit in a jumper
6.10 EastEnders
        Roy is haunted some of Pat's old earrings, and Jamie considers prosac after a night of passion with Dot
6.40 BBC News
        Mike Embly has a round-up of non-events from around the globe cos he's the cheapest for Christmas
6.50 Walking With Turnips TV MAG CHOICE
        A bloke with a beard introduces a 26-part series of breath-taking CGI graphics from the point-of-view of the humble turnip
7.20 Film: Something From The Cinemas in 1998
        A very out-of-place movie which has no links to the festive season. Regional Variation: WALES: An Audience with Huw Edwards
9.00 Auntie's Tenuiously-Linked-to-Christmas Bloomers
        An Irishman in a wig makes some weird comments to some equally weird outtakes
9.10 The Royle Family Christmas
        Or a re-run from previous Christmases if they haven't made a new series
9.50 A Boring Filler Comedy
        rpt. Somebody like Victoria Wood welcomes you to turn off the TV for 40 minutes whilst she prats about in a dress
10.30 BBC News
        Mike Embly returns to remind you that nothing interesting has happened today
10.40 The Queen
        rpt. With Subtitles and Signing for the deaf, Narration for the blind and Ali G for the 13 year-olds.
11.00 Carry On Filling
        Lorraine Heggasy joins the surviving Carry On team for a new movie set inside the Concrete Doughnut in Sheperds Bush.
12.45 A Boring Black-and-white Film
        rpt. Usually about some cowboy bloke with a stupid name or about a 1930s detective in a dirty coat.  Strictly for old people only.
01.55 Weather View
        Michael Fish shows us that once again we did not have a White Christmas, and then depresses us further by telling us that Boxing Day will be rainy
02.00 joins BBC News 24
        BBC ONE has run out of programmes so it's up to someone like Heather McCarthy or Peter Dobbie to rescue them .. through the night
(Numbers alongside are missing because VideoPlus+ is useless)

(Edited by nodnirG kraM at 6:27 pm on Oct. 28, 2001)

He did Techy Peep.

I worked on the show (NHP) for a four seasons (in a VT capacity) and remember getting plastered at the end of 'House Party' party. After all the speeches we dived for some food and took it back to a table to eat. What was embarrasing was when we realised it was Noel and families table, shared with the top BBC brass. Needless to say we didn't move.

Oh am I coming across all camp ? Ah well.

I liked your schedule it's just soooooo in the true spirit of Christmas.

It was axed because Woolworths had run out of sick buckets!


(Edited by Marcus at 12:25 pm on Oct. 28, 2001)

You can't fool us Andy. We know you are really Mr Blobby!!