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“TIGHTWADS” – C4 ACCUSED OF PENNY PINCHING AS BB FANS ANT-ICIPATE SERIES SEVEN
Bosses at Channel 4 have been accused of “penny pinching” and “under-estimating audience intelligence” after announcing that the next series of Big Brother will feature not human contestants, but ants. Channel 4 head of light entertainment Jackie Hitler says the decision came about in the immediate aftermath of this year’s final, which was won by a man from the north.
“His name is Anthony.” Says Ms Hitler. “And Anthony sounds a bit like ant. And my children have an ant farm. With ants in it.”
Other than this very noticeable change, other aspects of the show’s formula will remain familiar. The show will start with ten contestants, and one contestant will be voted out each week.
“Obviously the ants won’t be making any nominations.” Says Ms Hitler. “They’re ants. They can’t speak.”
Instead of facing eviction, the ants will face instant death at the hands of Ms Hitler’s son Max (aged 6) armed with a magnifying glass.
“It’s going to be tense.” She adds.
Some have criticized the decision. Ms Hitler has been a controversial figure since her appointment in 2003, and her subsequent commissioning of Channel 4’s all-Downs-Syndrome production of ‘Starlight Express’ in 2004. Former England football star, and “voice of Big Brother” Paul Gascoigne disagrees with the nay-sayers.
“Series Seven is going to be the best yet.” Said the troubled Geordie, yesterday.
© David Llewellyn
Bosses at Channel 4 have been accused of “penny pinching” and “under-estimating audience intelligence” after announcing that the next series of Big Brother will feature not human contestants, but ants. Channel 4 head of light entertainment Jackie Hitler says the decision came about in the immediate aftermath of this year’s final, which was won by a man from the north.
“His name is Anthony.” Says Ms Hitler. “And Anthony sounds a bit like ant. And my children have an ant farm. With ants in it.”
Other than this very noticeable change, other aspects of the show’s formula will remain familiar. The show will start with ten contestants, and one contestant will be voted out each week.
“Obviously the ants won’t be making any nominations.” Says Ms Hitler. “They’re ants. They can’t speak.”
Instead of facing eviction, the ants will face instant death at the hands of Ms Hitler’s son Max (aged 6) armed with a magnifying glass.
“It’s going to be tense.” She adds.
Some have criticized the decision. Ms Hitler has been a controversial figure since her appointment in 2003, and her subsequent commissioning of Channel 4’s all-Downs-Syndrome production of ‘Starlight Express’ in 2004. Former England football star, and “voice of Big Brother” Paul Gascoigne disagrees with the nay-sayers.
“Series Seven is going to be the best yet.” Said the troubled Geordie, yesterday.
© David Llewellyn
