Not sure where to put this. I decided to have a go at reading the news and just wondering what peoples thoughts are on my delivery.
Has a rather too radio news feel about it. Entire bulletin sounds like it's designed for radio.
Your autocue would be below the camera, not off and to the side, you look like you don't know where the camera is.
Use the medium. Radio news is limited to effectively different people hopefully not talking over each other. TV news is about showing stuff. If you're just going to read stuff out in a monotonous tone you may as well not bother having a camera if truth be told.
Your voice sounded less and less bassy as you went through - eventually sounding like your voice was coming through some cheap headphones. What did you record your voice with?
It's a bit flat at the moment. You need to sound more interested in what you're talking about, and vary your tone. Think about what it is you're saying as you're saying it, adding stress to the most important words. It just sounds like you're reading from a script at the moment rather than telling a story.
Currently you're delivering the sad, sombre story of the soldier's death in the same tone of voice as the happy, upbeat story about Comic Relief. A bit of 'light and shade' in your tone helps to keep the viewer's attention. A little smile for the Comic Relief story might help too.
Also try projecting your voice a little (without shouting), as you're a bit too soft currently.
You've got a nice voice though, so the potential's there. Just work a bit on the delivery. Try again, and let us see the results.