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Jonny3,980 posts since 27 Nov 2006
Tyne Tees Look North (North East)
Obviously, the background is nabbed from the ident. That's fine, you're attempting to improve a former presentation package whilst ensuring it remains in-keeping with the then existing style, I get that.

Let's see then. Well for a start there are too many 'we's, too many sentences and a confused distribution of full stops. 'We are sorry for the break in this programme and are working to correct the fault' - nothing unnecessary, flows off the tongue.

The text should be all bold and in white, as with the real style and because the black clashes badly. The box is misized and in the wrong position (this is 2001-7 era Two, such things did still matter then).

Nowt wrong with this type of mock at all , so long as it betters or offers a new take on the existing style. This mock, unfortunately, achieves neither. Closer attention to detail required.
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Cavan748 posts since 21 Oct 2012
Meridian (South) Oxford
Obviously, the background is nabbed from the ident. That's fine, you're attempting to improve a former presentation package whilst ensuring it remains in-keeping with the then existing style, I get that.

Let's see then. Well for a start there are too many 'we's, too many sentences and a confused distribution of full stops. 'We are sorry for the break in this programme and are working to correct the fault' - nothing unnecessary, flows off the tongue.

The text should be all bold and in white, as with the real style and because the black clashes badly. The box is misized and in the wrong position (this is 2001-7 era Two, such things did still matter then).

Nowt wrong with this type of mock at all , so long as it betters or offers a new take on the existing style. This mock, unfortunately, achieves neither. Closer attention to detail required.


OK. I have now used the old default breakdown caption used from 1991 - 2007. I recolored the black text to white as well. Finally I move the BBC Two box to the right and re-sized it to a more realistic size (I compared it to a real breakdown but I'm not sure it is the same size but nobody's perfect) Due to that I had to move the '2' to the left and I flipped it.

This is the end result:

*

I hope I did everything you said correctly Jonny. Embarassed
Last edited by Cavan on 2 November 2012 2:27pm
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Steve in Pudsey10,424 posts since 4 Jan 2003
Yorkshire Look North (Yorkshire)
This is a criticism of the original rather than of your mock per se, but having the text refer to a fault isn't necessarily helpful, as was demonstrated by The One Show falling off air due to the fire alarm going off. (Although on that occasion I guess pres's failure to deal with the situation could be regarded as a fault - they should never have had to use the fault caption!)

Something like "We apologise for this break. We will return to normal programming as soon as possible" would be a lot more catch-all, which has to be the main objective for this kind of thing.
Write that down in your copybook now.
Cavan748 posts since 21 Oct 2012
Meridian (South) Oxford
This is a criticism of the original rather than of your mock per se, but having the text refer to a fault isn't necessarily helpful, as was demonstrated by The One Show falling off air due to the fire alarm going off. (Although on that occasion I guess pres's failure to deal with the situation could be regarded as a fault - they should never have had to use the fault caption!)

Something like "We apologise for this break. We will return to normal programming as soon as possible" would be a lot more catch-all, which has to be the main objective for this kind of thing.


Alright, I'll get around to changing it.
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