The text needs something to blend in with in the background. It stands out far too much (and looks poorly rendered).
The plain Look East version looks like it took 5-10 minutes to make - add a gradient to a vector of the region nabbed from Wikipedia, the BBC News logo nabbed from Wikipedia, some diagonal rectangles, and Look East typed out.
The blue to red gradient on the Reporting Scotland version is very jarring - if you are going to combine blue and red, the blue needs to be lighter, and there needs to be a lot more white.
Looking back at your previous mocks, you seem to like simplicity in your designs. If you can spend time on subtle edits, that can polish up your mocks to something better. Even the best simple designs are, in many ways, complex. If you can do that, it's some way to making it decent.
I don't know what program you use for editing, but you might want to look at what settings you use for the text - make sure hinting is turned off (which I'm sure I was told myself many years ago when I was crapping out poor mocks onto here). If you're using Illustrator, make sure the output is art optimised.