Have a critique on my first news report!

Hi guys,

I hope I'm in the right section here - if not, sorry to the mods and feel free to move my post!

I'm a first-year journalism student in London, and yesterday, I had my first shot of producing a news report. It's on the topic on whether London can cope with the upcoming Games, with less than 150 days to go.

Your feedback would be extremely appreciative. The camerawork might not be too hot as I was given a camcorder to compile this package, and I didn't have a pro to handle the shots. Adobe Premiere Pro CS5 was used to bring this together.

Thanks in advance for taking the time to do this, and I look forward to hearing from you guys!

Connor.

As I assume you produced this as if it was going to be part of a wider news programme I'd have not started it with 'Welcome' more like 'this is'.

The lower thirds are a bit informal, you should really be using full names and the descriptions are a bit odd, the second one which is essentially just a vox pop, doesn't really need one especially as you've already given his name.

But all that also depends on what type of programme it would fit into or who the report is aimed at.

You're also holding the microphone very high, but this was probably out of necessity to get the levels right.

Your speech seems to have slight pauses every few words but I guess that's just a confidence/expericence thing that will come with time.

On the whole I really like your report, you're clear, friendly, confident and it is really well put together.

So I really don't think you're far off and I think what you have made is to quite a good standard.

If this was in The Gallery I'd probably give it a 4 star rating.

This is excellent Connor.

Picture quality is great, and so is the camera work, despite a few shakes in places. I actually like the slightly informal astons. The only points I'd make are the number of pieces to camera. Although one or two reporters do multiple PTC's in a report, the convention is usually for one only. Also, it's quite lengthy, which would tend to rule out network bulletins on BBC1 and ITV1. Having said that, it was all pretty interesting and relevant, so not entirely sure what you'd need to cut to bring it under 2 minutes. Good choice of pictures too.

SN.

My only criticism would be the voice clash 40 seconds in. There's nothing more infuriating when you're watching the news than being able to hear somebody's voice but not being quite able to make out what they're saying due to the reporter drowning them out. It's quite rude actually. Just mute the sound altogether.

50% of the way through your report, I began to suffer from statistic fatigue. Please reduce the number of statistics by at least 40%. You can do this by saying 'the majority of' or 'most of' rather than quoting the specific figure each time.

70% of people say that your post contained too many percentages.

The one thing I would say about the video is that your voice seems too lively, although it would suit being a local radio DJ very well. However, I could understand everything you said, and I think tone is something that is easily altered.