ITV News cause change of all locks at Feltham's

You assume that each key is only capable of opening exactly one lock. I would guess that the locks are suited, otherwise some very big pockets would be required for the bunches of keys!

You're normally better than that, Steve.

I wasn't expecting it to be YOU who turned out to be the humourless pedant who ruined a perfectly good joke.

Didn't you even attempt to think twice when Gavin saw it instantly?

I think we'll forgive him for not getting the joke - on the grounds that it wasn't very funny.

No, WRONG.

On the grounds that YOU didn't find it very funny.

Remember that perception is truth.

I don't think taxpayers are finding this funny, it's a disgrace if the taxpayers have to foot the bills by the stupidity of a commercial organisation!

I don't see many people laughing.

Perhaps you missed looking at the post after my original one then.

No I saw it, my eyesight is fine - I'm not the doddery old fool around here. But that's only one person - unless you're laughing at your own jokes, which truly would be sad. So fair enough, I suppose you probably are laughing at your own jokes.

I think you will find I carry a block vote.

Good, please use it to knock Nick on the head.

I suspect that Nick is actually rather funny. It's just his jokes or self-alleged witicisms that aren't, that's all.

Still here BoxMatic?

Thought you'd left in a blaze of publicity.