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Sharitall21
Well oh well, here my friends is my first mock! Very Happy

Here's a summary: This message could have been used when ITV1 HD (now ITV HD) could not provide HD programming, for example when a programme doesn't have a HD version (very rare in our days) in the old ITV style.

So, here it is:

*

https://ibb.co/k0DVJJ the image may not display on some devices. Well....

There is a revision of this original one with a DOG, please view that one at the bottom of the page.
08:01 am, 06/06/18
Last edited by Sharitall21 on 6 June 2018 8:01am - 2 times in total
Josh886 posts since 21 Dec 2014
I like it. One thing that bugs me though is the "If you cannot see this message.." has 2 elipsis while the "...it means we cannot etc." has 3.
My tweet was read out on BBC Four's Eurovision coverage and Rylan Clark-Neal replied to it. That's all.
Neil Jones5,218 posts since 23 Dec 2001
Central (West) Midlands Today
I think this is too wordy for ITV in all honesty, a previous mock was posted along the similar theme that fell into the same trap. look at the ITV +1 slides from the days when they couldn't air stuff on +1 and that's the sort of word style and length you need to aim at. Something sharp and to the point, nor War & Peace.

I know this is a mock and everything and but this sort of slide is pretty much irrelevant IMO , as the main channels have already proved, non HD stuff either gets pillarboxed and/or upscaled as appropriate. That and the drive to increase HD takeup wouldn't be helped by the fact BBC Two HD can't show Dad's Army or whatever.
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BBI45 gave kudos
Sharitall21
Next time I do such mocks, maybe I could make this less wordy.
You can spot two!! mistakes:

1. After the 'If you can see this message' there are two elipses, but where it says 'we cannot provide the HD service' there are three.
2. There is too much words. That's all I can say.

That's it. I am so fed up.
Neil Jones5,218 posts since 23 Dec 2001
Central (West) Midlands Today
Next time I do such mocks, maybe I could make this less wordy.
You can spot two!! mistakes:

1. After the 'If you can see this message' there are two elipses, but where it says 'we cannot provide the HD service' there are three.
2. There is too much words. That's all I can say.

That's it. I am so fed up.


I get the impression that you want to hear something along the lines of "this is an excellent mock, a wonderful concoction that looks just like it would have done on ITV1 and you can have 5 stars of 5 for it".

Well I'm sorry but that isn't how the Gallery works on here. To quote from the Guide to Mocking link at the top of the forum page:

https://tvforum.uk/thegallery/guide-mocking-33033/ posted:
when you finally think there's absolutely nothing else you can do [to improve your mock], only then post the mock. If you've followed the advice given in [The Guide to Mocking], then other members will actually take the time to give you their opinion, and maybe some constructive criticism. Alternatively, if you ignore the tips and tricks given in this thread, expect the other members to give you hell. You've been warned.

And if you are given criticism, take it on board. Don't claim that you'll listen to other people's ideas and comments if you'll just ignore them, and then pretend they gave you rave reviews and continue to produce monstrosities - others may spot flaws you don't. And who knows, if you do all that, they might even praise you!
5
oflahertya, Colorband and 3 others
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Sharitall21
I'm working on an ITV news design and I've spotted some flaws in it as well. To quote from my slightly-annoying post:


Next time I do such mocks, maybe I could make this less wordy.
You can spot two!! mistakes:

1. After the 'If you can see this message' there are two elipses, but where it says 'we cannot provide the HD service' there are three.
2. There is too much words. That's all I can say.

That's it. I am so fed up.


I do think that I could shorten the message to just this:

it means we cannot provide the HD service. Please wait.

and that could fit. (not.)
Neil Jones5,218 posts since 23 Dec 2001
Central (West) Midlands Today
With all due respect, would it not be a better use of your time rather than create two half-arsed mocks to make one decent one instead? Why don't you revise this one in light of the comments you've received?

"Please wait" is probably not a good thing to put on a slide, as that implies it may be up for a while yet. "Please stand by" is slightly better but still not the "done thing" to do.

What's wrong with "If you can see this message, it means we can't show you this in HD at the moment. In the meantime, please turn over to ITV1 to continue watching." or similar. You don't need to signpost them to channel 3 as such, as on most platforms bar Sky it's channel 3 anyway.
5
Colorband, London Lite and 3 others
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Sharitall21
With all due respect, would it not be a better use of your time rather than create two half-arsed mocks to make one decent one instead?


I mean I can't really comment much on the design. But in terms of the message, it's a bit wordy.



I get the impression that you want to hear something along the lines of "this is an excellent mock, a wonderful concoction that looks just like it would have done on ITV1 and you can have 5 stars of 5 for it".



You don't need to signpost them to channel 3 as such, as on most platforms bar Sky it's channel 3 anyway.


I'd advise not to use 'Please wait'.


Hmmm..... Those are all of what I, as a human after all, feels is the rude, negative feedback you have given me. Are you happy now revision 1 is here? WITH A SMALLER MESSAGE?? Mad

Includes a small DOG in the top-left.
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https://ibb.co/n59ZoT
Last edited by Sharitall21 on 6 June 2018 8:10am
dosxuk4,166 posts since 22 Oct 2005
Yorkshire Look North (Yorkshire)
Hmmm..... Those are just SOME of the rude, negative feedback you have given me. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THERE IS NOT A HALF-ARSED REVISION! Mad


If you think that's rude negative feedback then I think you're probably posting in the wrong place, but you're definitely on your way to getting proper rude feedback! We don't care if you're a 10 year old kid or a 50 year old graphic design professional, if it doesn't look right for TV, you'll get told. Unlike schools, we're not here to tell you things are amazing when they're not, just because your work is a little better than you've produced before.

So here's some not rude, positive, feedback, take it as you will - in most style guides, ellipsis (...) are three dots - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis - four is often acceptable but two is at least one short.
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TV Fetish, bilky asko and 2 others
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